January 20th: the new first official day of Spring.

Let it be so declared that henceforth January 20th shall be known as the first official day of Spring in the San Francisco/Oakland bay area region of the State of California, United States of America.

As indisputable proof that such redesignation of the start date of the Spring season is both timely and ripe, we offer the scientific evidence that spring has, indeed, sprung as verified by the authentic and unaltered photograph attached herein, henceforth referred to as “Exhibit A.”

image

Exhibit A. Flowering tree and bush: indisputable evidence of Spring.

Exhibit A displays two real, living plant specimens clearly in a flowering and beautiful state, such as does not occur during the Winter or Autumn months. Since many other local flora is also at either a budding or flowering stage, but not yet producing fruit nor even yet close to a fruiting stage, it can be assumed that the Summer season has not yet arrived, thereby leaving but one season possible: that of Spring. Thus, having scientifically proven that current biological conditions can only be explained by the presence of the Spring season, we lay to rest any argument to the contrary.

Therefore, having established that Spring has arrived on this twentieth day of January in the year 2013, we decree that the official start date of Spring is now, and shall remain, January 20th, unless and until somefuture date where it can be shown that Spring has either arrived even earlier or Winter has disappeared entirely.

In light of this development, that being the new date of Spring, we shall now pursue the abolishment of the time change in which we are directed to “fall back,” i.e. permit ourselves to believe the days darken an hour earlier for a specified period of time, when in fact, they do not.

A comment period upon the abolishment of the time change fallacy will be announced at a future date.

As of now we would like to wish you Happy Spring!

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